Again, a busy day, and more to come....
Block test today, got a 95, so woot for that.
Airman's time today, boring.
CQ briefing, Boring.
5k run in the am tomorrow, then change and go to class. Class on Friday, and a 5 hour CQ that night.
Hike and Freeclimb and Swim on Sat....
Yeah busy busy...
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Saturday, April 26, 2008
After another SARC breifing, and an AM class...this is what came out of it.
A random writing, fuelled by rage, feed by fear, wishing for peace, in time of uncertainty, written in the silence between and above them all.
A cage that never weakens.
never grows smaller.
It's just the beast that grows within.
The rage you feed it.
the hate you teach it.
Bulk it up and make it pace.
Crave for pain.
Crave for hurt.
A wounded pride.
Lashing out against insanity.
Not going through this shit again.
Not working around it once more.
A path I'll never walk again,
and a body left too sore.
He's pacing in the walls you keep
throwing himself against the bars.
you locked him up to keep me safe
but now he's far stronger then before.
How long till you snap again?
she wonders in her head.
till the cage breaks and he's free again.
How long does she have?
Not going through this shit again.
Not working around it once more.
A path I'll never walk again
and a body left too sore.
And she's tearing herself apart
for you and you alone.
Caging up her impulses.
Much as you do your own.
Pushing the locks on your cage.
How long till she snaps again?
How long till she breaks?
Habits that you thought she broke.
How long till they recur?
It's not the cage that grows smaller.
Nor the bars that bend and break.
It's the fighting of the two of them.
and the Rattle that they make.
Rage so caustic
It's burning through the bars.
How long do they have you think?
How long till it breaks?
How long till they break out?
How long will it take?
A cage that never weakens.
never grows smaller.
It's just the beast that grows within.
The rage you feed it.
the hate you teach it.
Bulk it up and make it pace.
Crave for pain.
Crave for hurt.
A wounded pride.
Lashing out against insanity.
Not going through this shit again.
Not working around it once more.
A path I'll never walk again,
and a body left too sore.
He's pacing in the walls you keep
throwing himself against the bars.
you locked him up to keep me safe
but now he's far stronger then before.
How long till you snap again?
she wonders in her head.
till the cage breaks and he's free again.
How long does she have?
Not going through this shit again.
Not working around it once more.
A path I'll never walk again
and a body left too sore.
And she's tearing herself apart
for you and you alone.
Caging up her impulses.
Much as you do your own.
Pushing the locks on your cage.
How long till she snaps again?
How long till she breaks?
Habits that you thought she broke.
How long till they recur?
It's not the cage that grows smaller.
Nor the bars that bend and break.
It's the fighting of the two of them.
and the Rattle that they make.
Rage so caustic
It's burning through the bars.
How long do they have you think?
How long till it breaks?
How long till they break out?
How long will it take?
Thursday, April 24, 2008
24APR08
Today we finally got to hit the trainers that are at school for some hands on training.
It was cool, mostly tools and working with them and learning how to calibrate them and safty wire things and all that fun stuff.
Tomorrow we take our Block IV test in the morning, and then we are surprising our instructor, SSGT Ortiz, with a cake and "party" for his birthday. Even though it's not till monday, this is his last block with us until Block thirteen, and he won't be with us after tomorrow.
Should be fun.
Not really doing much other then that....
It was cool, mostly tools and working with them and learning how to calibrate them and safty wire things and all that fun stuff.
Tomorrow we take our Block IV test in the morning, and then we are surprising our instructor, SSGT Ortiz, with a cake and "party" for his birthday. Even though it's not till monday, this is his last block with us until Block thirteen, and he won't be with us after tomorrow.
Should be fun.
Not really doing much other then that....
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
meh.
Trying to pick up the frequency of my blogs...keep you all updated on my whereabouts and goings on....
Today we took our Block III test, and I passed it, with flying colours. Started Block IV today, and we test on that on Friday of this week. Hopefully I'll know my PCS base by the end of the week (keep the fingers crossed on that one!!!).
Today was Airman's time, didn't really learn anything there, but that's not unusual, so meh on that. Got my CQ briefing today, as I have CQ on Sat from 0130 to 0930....whoppie....
I have a crack of dawn meeting tomorrow for a hike/free climb/swimming that I'm doing on the 3rd, 0530 ....
And then I have class till 1530, then PRT till 1700, then a meeting after PRT for the boxing thingey I am helping with this sat evening, after my horrid CQ shift.... So no sleep for me tomorrow or Sat....oh well.
Blues inspection is on Monday, along with open ranks and open wall locker inspections.
Other then that it's fairly quiet here, just normal high school life in the dorm.
Gimme a shout out or a letter or something....coolpoint me or drop me a line....please?
Today we took our Block III test, and I passed it, with flying colours. Started Block IV today, and we test on that on Friday of this week. Hopefully I'll know my PCS base by the end of the week (keep the fingers crossed on that one!!!).
Today was Airman's time, didn't really learn anything there, but that's not unusual, so meh on that. Got my CQ briefing today, as I have CQ on Sat from 0130 to 0930....whoppie....
I have a crack of dawn meeting tomorrow for a hike/free climb/swimming that I'm doing on the 3rd, 0530 ....
And then I have class till 1530, then PRT till 1700, then a meeting after PRT for the boxing thingey I am helping with this sat evening, after my horrid CQ shift.... So no sleep for me tomorrow or Sat....oh well.
Blues inspection is on Monday, along with open ranks and open wall locker inspections.
Other then that it's fairly quiet here, just normal high school life in the dorm.
Gimme a shout out or a letter or something....coolpoint me or drop me a line....please?
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
So...
Not writing as much as I should be, my apologies for that.
It's been a rough water time here for me.
Class is hard, rough and enjoyable.
But Dorm life is like high school all over again.
Back stabbing, lying, rumours, hate, anger....
it's all here, just like before.
And I'm really sick of it.
And things here with not being any Pagan community here is really starting to piss me off too.
HElp?
Plus there's something going on with Justin,but he won't tell me anything but ask me if mom's answered his email yet...how the hell should I know? I mean, I've asked, but no answer, and i don't really know what's up here so yeha, confusion there too.
and grrr......!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AH!
It's been a rough water time here for me.
Class is hard, rough and enjoyable.
But Dorm life is like high school all over again.
Back stabbing, lying, rumours, hate, anger....
it's all here, just like before.
And I'm really sick of it.
And things here with not being any Pagan community here is really starting to piss me off too.
HElp?
Plus there's something going on with Justin,but he won't tell me anything but ask me if mom's answered his email yet...how the hell should I know? I mean, I've asked, but no answer, and i don't really know what's up here so yeha, confusion there too.
and grrr......!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AH!
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Troubled...
So things here are going fine, school classes are great, I'm having a blast ad doing well.
Except for there's this problem....with this guy I know...well you see his name's Justin...and he's in the AF too. And well, I really really really kinda like him, like...a lot. I'd dare to say I love him...
But see, there's a hitch...he's at Sheppard AFB... training as a Loadmaster...and I'm at Vandenburg AFB...training as a 2MO32...
There's only three bases I can go to...and almost no chance of him being able to go with me.
Are we starting to get the issue here?
Even my MTLs and First Sergent has told me that chances are that he and are are royally screwed....our chances of making it are next to nil, even if I go were I want to go and end up at Minot AFB, ND.
He's scared....truly scared....
And I'm just trying to find the loophole...
Because you know...we have a secret.....
We aren't giving up.
We aren't letting each other go.
We are not going to let this break us.
So I'm calling everywhere I need to, and pulling everything I can, to try to figure this shit out and find the loop.
Because...there always is one...right?
There better be, because the other option will hurt a lot more then we can handle right now, much less then we have time to deal with while in Technical Training....
Any suggestions, comments, or lines to get help for this would be very very welcome!
Except for there's this problem....with this guy I know...well you see his name's Justin...and he's in the AF too. And well, I really really really kinda like him, like...a lot. I'd dare to say I love him...
But see, there's a hitch...he's at Sheppard AFB... training as a Loadmaster...and I'm at Vandenburg AFB...training as a 2MO32...
There's only three bases I can go to...and almost no chance of him being able to go with me.
Are we starting to get the issue here?
Even my MTLs and First Sergent has told me that chances are that he and are are royally screwed....our chances of making it are next to nil, even if I go were I want to go and end up at Minot AFB, ND.
He's scared....truly scared....
And I'm just trying to find the loophole...
Because you know...we have a secret.....
We aren't giving up.
We aren't letting each other go.
We are not going to let this break us.
So I'm calling everywhere I need to, and pulling everything I can, to try to figure this shit out and find the loop.
Because...there always is one...right?
There better be, because the other option will hurt a lot more then we can handle right now, much less then we have time to deal with while in Technical Training....
Any suggestions, comments, or lines to get help for this would be very very welcome!
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
Skool!
So yeah, today was day one of class.
It was a lot of fun, hard and mind-wearying but very enjoyable.
Plus you know, I "coined" today, so that was sweet!
Yeah I answered a few questions right and got a 532 TRS SQ coin today, which was the shit! It's really cool to be the first Airman here int eh class to get coined, so that was cool.
On the other hand we had another SARC class today, and that really bugs me every time we have one of those classes...so the end of the day wasn't so great, but now it's all good. I'm having fun here now, and class should be a blast tomorrow.
Anywho, hit me up if you need me, I'll be back when I can!
It was a lot of fun, hard and mind-wearying but very enjoyable.
Plus you know, I "coined" today, so that was sweet!
Yeah I answered a few questions right and got a 532 TRS SQ coin today, which was the shit! It's really cool to be the first Airman here int eh class to get coined, so that was cool.
On the other hand we had another SARC class today, and that really bugs me every time we have one of those classes...so the end of the day wasn't so great, but now it's all good. I'm having fun here now, and class should be a blast tomorrow.
Anywho, hit me up if you need me, I'll be back when I can!
Saturday, April 5, 2008
Well well well....
Guess who's back?
ME!
Yeah, I'm back, or at least, back in terms of able to get on the computer and talk to you all people out there!
Thank you so much to all those people who wrote me while I was in BMT, you helped pull me though so much while I was there.
I'll be slowly blogging random things whenever I get the chance to, and once I pick up a laptop, the blog will come more stedily then for now. as things stand right now, I'm at the ministry center, blogging, I start class on the 11, and am having a blast here in cali.
if you need/want me, go ahead and call me or write me or text me or drop me a line here, I'll be around!
ME!
Yeah, I'm back, or at least, back in terms of able to get on the computer and talk to you all people out there!
Thank you so much to all those people who wrote me while I was in BMT, you helped pull me though so much while I was there.
I'll be slowly blogging random things whenever I get the chance to, and once I pick up a laptop, the blog will come more stedily then for now. as things stand right now, I'm at the ministry center, blogging, I start class on the 11, and am having a blast here in cali.
if you need/want me, go ahead and call me or write me or text me or drop me a line here, I'll be around!
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