5.

Day five dawns at around 9:55 am for me.
It's going to be a rough day, as I'm fighting feeling crappy emotionally.
This particular post is feeling kinda attacking to me, but that's just what it is I guess.

Last night was a blast though, a close group of Justin and I's friends and my family and Justin's mom all went to this really awesome microbrewery, Dragonmead.We must have been there something like three hours.

The weather is crappy here, a snow/sleet/ice/freezing rain storm hit us starting early yesterday morning and lasting all day into the night...dumped several inches worth of snow and ice on us. As my mom said, if there was ever weather making a good reason to leave Michigan, this is it! It's supposed to stay icy and cold right up until I leave.

I'm still cleaning and packing, although I don't have a lot of time, I was really enjoying the time to myself, or time with bear to actually be getting something done, without anyone else. I mean, there's the gym, and that's great and all, but it's not time where i feel like I'm getting anything done. Even if mom can't see it, we've gotten a lot of stuff done in here, and yet, again, all I hear from around the circle is, "it's not enough, it's not done, it's not good enough." *shrug* You'd think I was used to it by now, but no. It still bothers me, It still ticks me off, It still aggravates the living daylights outta me when I get helped without asking. I mean, I know that she's just trying to help, and trying to spend time with me. But honestly, I don't want the help in my room. I would love it if the laundry got transfered on it's own, it'd save me time. But it doesn't, and I don't expect it to. I'd love to wave a wand and 'make it so' but I can't. But I'm working on it, and doing it with Justin, or on my own, and IT'S BEEN WORKING. Not as fast as you want it to, but it's going. I'm not complaining about it as much, and it's still getting done.

Even though you just want to help, just don't, ok? In the long run it hinders me more, because it irritates me and although it can have it's fun times, more often cleaning with mom drives me up a way, makes me feel invaded and attacked, and leaves one or the other or both of us in a pissy black mood. Let me just work it out on my own, find a different way to spend time with me...please.


Other hen that, that's all I'm doing, cleaning, packing, and the gym. I guess you'll catch me if you need me...

See you on the flipside.